She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
