I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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