just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You smell like stripper and shame
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
