He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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