just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
