The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
