It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
