Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
