Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
