As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
