i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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