hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
