If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You made out with two different species that night
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
