that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
