Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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