I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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