Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
and she was petting her beer can
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
