I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
