she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
