shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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