I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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