Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
