Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Randomize
