I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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