What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
