Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter

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(214): View more from Texas

Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.

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(303): View more from Colorado

It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time

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(428): View more from

she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.

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(469): View more from Texas

I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car

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(501): View more from Arkansas

Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?

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