You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
COCAINE IS GR8
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
