yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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