And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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