HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
