i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
