you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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