Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
