I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Panties = found
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
