How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
