I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
