p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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