He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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