I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
