why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
