Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
