dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
