I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
