your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
