Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
