Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
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