i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Randomize
