We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
