...so i touched it.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize