So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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