Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
