I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize