The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
