Little spoons don't ask big questions
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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