If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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