so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
