Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize