Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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