you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
