I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
